'Tis the season to shut the fuck up and
stop being a whiny little bitch!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ahhhhh Thanksgiving! Yes this is the wonderful time of year where we are guilted into returning home to only be subjected to the nitpicking of those who spawned us. Why do we do this? Because it is tradition damnit! Well that and it means we don’t have to cook.
So here is what I am thankful for this year:
1) christmas blend in red cups served by super cute baristas
2) free music from my best peeps
3) bonne bell liquid lip smacker, cotton candy flavor
4) msn messenger to my phone (don’t drink and txt kiddies)
5) the more cowbell girl from urban dictionary (fuck me… she is hot!)
What are you thankful for?
Monday, November 13, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Get me off the grass!
There was a time when I would delight in finding the $30 hotel room in the “let me hand you my wallet to save you the trouble” section of town or the discounted “please let me fly at 3AM in the middle seat next to someone with BO” airplane ticket. This time has passed. I am not sure when it happened; all I know is that it is gone. I am at the point in my life that I can’t move without the assistance of professional movers (this fact is additionally funny to me because I would love nothing more than to be able to put all of my belongings in a backpack and take off, yet I can’t seem to leave for the week without getting the excess baggage weight charge from United.) I will also pay the upgrade charge to get two more inches of legroom on a cross country flight and countless of life’s other little extravagances that I would have forgone before now.
Why is it that I bring this up?
LAWN SEATS!
Yes, lawn seats. I have, and likely will always maintain that Aerosmith is my favorite all time band. Said band was in my fair city last night. Granted my music taste has significantly shifted from this genre in recent years. This, and the fact that I have already seen them once before, THIS YEAR, prompted me to determine that the cheaper lawn seats would be sufficient. No no no… NO! How dumb could I have been? Well I paid for this lapse in judgment last night.
Observation 1….
I am not 18 anymore. I am not freshly separated from my parents and in close proximity to alcohol for the first time. Nor am I a 50 year old housewife, stoned for the first time since the Nixon administration that feels dry humping my hairy, yet shockingly bald husband (ewwww) in public is a fantastic idea. This was the lawn seat crowd, in a nutshell. I want tickets up front damnit! I want to be where I can actually see Joe Perry work absolute magic on his guitar painted with the image of his HOT wife. I would actually much rather stick strictly to small venues that are in close proximity to a full bar, but bands such as these rarely play such places anymore.
Observation 2…
When you can’t sing or remember the lyrics to your own songs… STOP TOURING! Motley Crue was the opening act, yes Motley “Girls Girls Girls” Crue. When you can’t sing or scream the words to Kickstart My Heart, you are done. Please pack up your leather pants and go home to your aging groupies.
Observation 3…
Steven Tyler and Joe Perry STILL FUCKING ROCK! Despite all of my bitching about my surroundings, I had a good time once they hit the stage. This was something that I needed after the week I had. I just have one last request… don’t let Joe sing anymore.
Why is it that I bring this up?
LAWN SEATS!
Yes, lawn seats. I have, and likely will always maintain that Aerosmith is my favorite all time band. Said band was in my fair city last night. Granted my music taste has significantly shifted from this genre in recent years. This, and the fact that I have already seen them once before, THIS YEAR, prompted me to determine that the cheaper lawn seats would be sufficient. No no no… NO! How dumb could I have been? Well I paid for this lapse in judgment last night.
Observation 1….
I am not 18 anymore. I am not freshly separated from my parents and in close proximity to alcohol for the first time. Nor am I a 50 year old housewife, stoned for the first time since the Nixon administration that feels dry humping my hairy, yet shockingly bald husband (ewwww) in public is a fantastic idea. This was the lawn seat crowd, in a nutshell. I want tickets up front damnit! I want to be where I can actually see Joe Perry work absolute magic on his guitar painted with the image of his HOT wife. I would actually much rather stick strictly to small venues that are in close proximity to a full bar, but bands such as these rarely play such places anymore.
Observation 2…
When you can’t sing or remember the lyrics to your own songs… STOP TOURING! Motley Crue was the opening act, yes Motley “Girls Girls Girls” Crue. When you can’t sing or scream the words to Kickstart My Heart, you are done. Please pack up your leather pants and go home to your aging groupies.
Observation 3…
Steven Tyler and Joe Perry STILL FUCKING ROCK! Despite all of my bitching about my surroundings, I had a good time once they hit the stage. This was something that I needed after the week I had. I just have one last request… don’t let Joe sing anymore.
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